I am here for an oil change, not a date.

22 Feb

I am not going to answer

You can call, but I won't answer.

It seems like I can’t go anywhere these days without getting hit on.  Yes, most of the time it is flattering but nonetheless inappropriate.  And also awkward.  I feel the need to tiptoe around town avoiding the guys working in certain places that have blatantly flirted with me.  The most recent occurrence of this really made me laugh at his methods.

I take my car into the dealership I bought it from for service.  They instruct me to go sit in the waiting room until it’s time to surgically remove my arm and leg to pay for the oil change.  I walk in and of course there’s the usual mixture of snacks in a basket, like crackers, cookies, donuts, — anything I shouldn’t even be eyeing if I want to be ready for bikini season.  Eh, fuck it, I grab some peanut butter crackers because they’re free and I might be a nice bitch but I am also a broke bitch.  College is expensive, ya heard? I think I will make that my next post. lol.

In walks this hefty man, I’m guessing around 30 years old.  He kind of reminded me of Randy Jackson.  He asks me what I am waiting for.   Well, I have a dry mouthful of peanut butter crackers and normally I wouldn’t dare speak with my mouth full but every time I walk into this wallet-emptying-hell-hole I seem to say ‘fuck it” a lot more than I usually do.  So, there is no way I can be appealing trying to answer his boring,  just-leave-me-to-my-crackers-and-iphone-please, stupid questions.  Finally, he hands me his card and says he is being paged and has to take care of something important.  Well, aren’t you just Mr. Big Deal?  Thank God, now I can eat my crackers in peace and text my friends how annoying the guy that works here is.

You guessed it, Mr. Big Deal walks back in and sits down on the couch next to me.  You think this may have tipped him off but apparently not — I ask him “Aren’t you going to get in trouble for sitting here with me?  Don’t you have something you should be doing?”  He smirks and replies “Didn’t you read my card?”   Um, obviously not.  So I dig through my suitcase/purse to find the card I carelessly threw in there. A few minutes pass. lol. I pull out his card and read that he is the Sales Manager. Wow, he is a big deal.   And!!! (I know we don’t like excessive use of exclamation points but I am just that excited!!!!) His card reveals his name is “Big John”. HAHAHAHAHAHA. No.  You shouldn’t have a ‘big’ in your name unless you are a Pro Wrestler, Porn Star, or dating Carrie on Sex and the City.   And do I even need to elaborate that it’s on his business card?  The only big part about him is his belly… and his head. He proceeds to ask me how old I am and I tell him to take his best guess. He says 25. And I pretend to be slightly offended and tell him I am younger than that (by a year. lol).

At this Point I am just talking to him solely for entertainment purposes.  He tries to recover from the age insult by saying that I carry myself like a woman on a mission.  Make that a bitch on a mission and I might forgive you.  Then he offers to take me on a ‘test drive’ to help pass the time.  I am playing into his antics now and I tell him bring me the biggest, baddest truck on the lot.   During the short drive, he begins to interrogate me on what I am studying in school, what kind of truck my boyfriend drives, where I like to go for dinner, etc.  As much as I try to steer the subject back to the truck, he puts the pedal to the metal back to the subject of me. Ugh. But, I did end up giving him my number, but only because I am a nice bitch.  I like to tell it how it is but without intentionally hurting others.  But he called me and I never answered.  I don’t think that is the first time that has happened to him.

I just don’t know where these guys get off thinking it’s okay to approach customers in this fashion.  Car salesman have a bad rep as it is.  And now I feel uncomfortable going back there.  I mean, at least if I do see him I will still get some free crackers out of it.

The truth is, I’m flattered that you like me, but insulted that you think you have a chance with me.

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14 Responses to “I am here for an oil change, not a date.”

  1. thelifeofjamie February 22, 2012 at 7:58 pm #

    Don’t you know you give your phone number with one digit off? The people who had 8222 as an ending to their number got a lot of calls for me!

    • Rambling Aimlessly February 23, 2012 at 7:48 am #

      This is exactly what I have done for YEARS. I would like to publicly apologize for the number ending in 4086.

      • The Bitchy Truth February 23, 2012 at 10:58 am #

        lol! The guys have caught onto that! I always make sure to get their number as well “because I don’t answer numbers I don’t recognize”. But really I want their number so I’ll know to ignore it! Haha.

      • Rambling Aimlessly February 23, 2012 at 12:49 pm #

        Oh yeah, that works too.! 🙂 For a long time I had names such as “Drunk Cowboy” or “Pesky sales guy” for those I knew I was not going to answer. I also had “Great Kisser Steve” and others… for those I “might” want to answer depending on the day 🙂

    • The Bitchy Truth February 23, 2012 at 10:12 am #

      LOL, unfortunately ever since I encountered a guy who called me right after I gave him a fake a number to make sure I had given him a real one, I don’t do that any more. He must have ran into you before! lol of course I told him he must have heard me wrong but I don’t think he bought it.

  2. youarenotlostyouarehere February 23, 2012 at 8:14 am #

    You really are a kind bitch giving him your number! But good thing you didn’t pick up, don’t think you’d be able to shake him off. I hate to agree with the ‘bus’ analogy, but it’s true. When you’re hanging around looking out for buses (boys) they’re nowhere to be found. Turn your head and boom they all appear at once. It seems to be happening with you, tough times.
    Classic example last night – for once I’ve actually got a guy, and then suddenly all my mates are drunkenly lunging at me! Embarrassment central, though I do hope my guy noticed me pushing these drunk lurchers away…a bitch but not a cheating//slutty bitch at least haha

    • The Bitchy Truth February 23, 2012 at 11:00 am #

      I actually am single, but the guys approaching me I just dont seem to find very appealing! lol. I’ve never been one to “date for dinner” so to speak. lol I’m sure your boyfriend took note as to the guys checking you out. Hopefully he just took it as a compliment and not a threat.

      • youarenotlostyouarehere February 23, 2012 at 2:40 pm #

        Tee hee definitely agree with you there – all the guys who are after me are always repellant! No no he’s not my boyfriend…(yet, I hope to be the operative word) – but hope he took note, and saw how much of a catch I am! Or, just realised that he’s much better looking than all the other monsters interested in me. Time to bring back the “statement” t-shirts. “DON’T TOUCH ME”

  3. SzaboInSlowMo February 23, 2012 at 4:45 pm #

    Great story…I think I’ve met a Big John or two in my life, haha.

  4. Laura February 27, 2012 at 12:30 am #

    Unfortunately fancy phones here in Japan you just put the phones next to each other, press exchange and the numbers are stored in each others phones….so no giving out the wrong number!

    • TBT February 27, 2012 at 7:04 am #

      That unfortunate! Some phones do that here too but I never use that app bc it seems like more there’s more steps to do it that way than to just manually type it in.

  5. Danielle Smith February 27, 2012 at 2:55 am #

    Hahaha. This is perfect. “I’m flattered that you like me but insulted that you think you have a chance with me” hahaha.

    • TBT February 27, 2012 at 7:05 am #

      LOL, Quite bitchy, but true.

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