How serious is serious?

27 Apr

Have you ever liked somebody up until you realized the feeling was mutual?  It happens to me all the time.  I guess I just want what I can’t have. I thought it was a phase but I’m beginning to think I have a fear of commitment.

I consider my current relationship status to be friends with benefits.  But lately I get the feeling it’s progressing into something more.  The reasons are as follows:

1. Daily text messages.

He texts me to ask me how my day is going.  Since when does anybody give a fuck about my day?

2. Was that a date?

He invited me to go out to eat.  So, that afternoon I stopped by the drug store. I spent twenty minutes comparing razors.  The pharmacist kept looking at me like I might be illiterate. That, or I was contemplating on stealing it.  I splurged on the expensive one.  BOOYAH Pharmacist! I’m pretty sure I paid an extra $10.00 because it was pink. And I even bought an electric shaver also.  I was curious. Don’t judge me. Of course, I go to use it and the piece of shit doesn’t have any fucking batteries in it.  Maybe they should have put ‘buy your own damn batteries’ on the package.  I had to rummage through every piece of electronics in my house to find 2 triple A batteries.  Why the fuck doesn’t it take double A batteries like everything else in the world? Anyway, I digress.  The point is, I obviously felt that this night was special for some reason.  He paid for dinner and made sure to open the doors and all that jazz.  If it shaves like a date, pays like a date, and kisses like a date, is it a date?

3. Spending the night.

Most guys can’t wait to give their booty call the boot when the business transaction is complete. And if you want to cuddle you’re better off going to Build-a-Bear Workshop. I wish they had Build-a-Man Workshop.  They have Build-a-Bitch Workshop, it’s called a relationship (no wonder I’m single).  When the deed was done I’d gather my shit (Dignity not included. See what I did there razor company?) and be on my happy hoe way.  I actually like sleeping in my own clean sheets.  But now he offers that I spend the night.  I know the physical acts we just committed are considered to be one of the most intimate things two people can do together, but I feel like waking up next to each other is a whole new level of closeness.

4. Using his facilities.

He invites me over to watch a movie when I get off work.  He says that I can just bring a clean pair of clothes and shower at his house.  I told my friend this to see what kind of response it would illicit. She replied “You can’t shower at his house! There’s no way he will have good shampoo!” Plus my long locks need conditioner.  I think that’s a pretty valid concern.  I’ll never forget the day I woke up with a hangover at a male friends house. I had to shower before class so I didn’t smell like a hooker on a 3 day alcohol binge.  I was forced to use anti-dandruff shampoo for men, old spice deodorant, and I wore the same clothes I passed out in.  Then I walked into class smelling like a spicy man with a dandruff problem and my friend looks at me and says “have you seen your neck?”  It’s safe to say that was rock bottom but I think I deserve some credit for at least making it to class.  I continue to digress.  I feel like using his shower and shampoo is like domesticating our relationship.  It’s like sharing toothpaste. It’s like playing house.  It’s like committing to maybe, possibly, showering there on a regular basis.  But hey, maybe he just wants me to be clean for the post movie activities.

I’m not going to jump to any conclusions.  I’m probably over analyzing.  I just like to know what everyone is thinking and why they do certain things.  Hidden meanings are so aggravating.

It’s like my  motto, say what you mean, mean what you say, and say something mean.

12 Responses to “How serious is serious?”

  1. takingcandyfromababy April 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    Thank you for being hilarious. And so damn accurate.

    • TBT April 28, 2012 at 8:08 am #

      Thank you for thinking I’m hilarious. 😉

  2. fulltimegangsta April 27, 2012 at 7:17 pm #

    Hahaha I feel the same way! My mum identified this problem in me when I was about 15… I only want what I can’t have

    • TBT April 28, 2012 at 8:09 am #

      I guess it happens to the best of us!

  3. hookeymonster April 27, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

    This: “Have you ever liked somebody up until you realized the feeling was mutual?” = exactly!!

    Your situations sounds like it has gone way beyond booty call. Way way way beyond it.

    • TBT April 28, 2012 at 8:08 am #

      That’s what I was afraid of. I can’t decide if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

      • hookeymonster April 28, 2012 at 10:31 am #

        Considering it’s him initiating the moves to take it out of the casual zone then it’s a good thing. If that’s what you want.
        Or maybe you really did master the thing where women can be good at the casual thing because I don’t believe women are naturally unattached creatures.

      • TBT April 28, 2012 at 8:10 pm #

        Lol I doubt I’ve mastered unattachment. That’s not a word, but you know what I mean.
        This is how I think:
        Call me. Call me. Call me. Why isn’t he calling me?

        Oh, look who’s calling me! Eh, I don’t feel like answering.

        And people wonder why I’m a bitch. it’s because I drive myself crazy. Haha.

      • hookeymonster April 28, 2012 at 8:43 pm #

        Amen to that.
        Maybe for the sake of this you keep telling yourself it’s “casual” so you trick yourself into not being done when the chase has been won?

  4. herestheproblem April 30, 2012 at 4:42 pm #

    Some advice from the older version of you: Decide if you like him before you start caring if he likes you. Trust me – for girls as crazy as us, the chase is never over. You’re going to sabotage this so many times to see if he hangs on that you won’t remember how you feel about him. Take a minute, be honest with yourself, and figure it out.

    • TBT May 1, 2012 at 5:49 pm #

      That is awesome advice. And it just proves that you understood exactly what I was trying to say. I think I’ve figured it out, which means with my luck he is sure to throw me a curveball now.

      • herestheproblem May 1, 2012 at 7:55 pm #

        Ride it out girl. Enjoy what you like until you don’t. The worst part about being in a happy relationship (eek!) is thinking about how it’s going to end.

Bitch about it!

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