Why are the Freshly Pressed blogs so unappealing? When I arrive at the wordpress.com homepage, I am bombarded with dull photos of flowers, bread, and sunsets. I don’t give a shit about any of it. Who picks these articles? Dull and Duller? They certainly don’t put the Press in Impress. I think they pressed B for Boring. They should have pressed D for Delete. I end up pressing ESC.
I told one of my friends to get a WordPress account and she told me WordPress was for senior citizens. She might be right.
I couldn’t care less about being Freshly Pressed myself. I would almost be insulted if I did. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed, you’re officially one of the most bland and uninteresting bloggers on the World Wide Web. Luckily, my excessive use of the word fuck has killed any possibility of that happening. If I want to say fuck, I will. Fuck this, Fuck that, Fuck me, Fuck you Freshly Pressed. Maybe you should appeal to a wider demographic than traveling gnomes and ancient gardeners.
The best of 487,296 bloggers? Who do they think they are kidding? I’d rather spend my time on a stamp collection. Heck, I’d rather read braille made of rat droppings than waste a single second of my life reading about your lame ass trip to Wisconsin, where you watched clouds with your lame ass family. Seriously, you photographed a road sign. That must have taken an incredible amount of skill and bravery.
I’m not trying to be a bitch. That comes naturally. But I’m sure I can’t be the only person who feels this way. Hopefully WordPress doesn’t press D on my account.