It’s the little things

3 May

Ten minutes in a waiting room will really make you aware of how annoying people can be.  Once you are already irritated it’s easy to think of little things that piss you off. Here it goes.

Butt Explosion Etiquette
Nobody knows when their diarrhea will strike, so sooner or later they will find themselves having a butt explosion in a public bathroom. It’s nauseating to think about, but shit happens. What pisses me off is when they close the door afterwards, trying to hide the stench of rotting carcass. They’re not fooling anybody. They were in there for a fucking hour and it took 3 flushes to clear the bowl. So, of course when I go to use it, I open the door, and get shit winded in the face from the killer fumes they’ve trapped in the tiny, enclosed space. Do us all a favor and leave the fucking door open. Let that shit air out. Literally.

Delayed Response
I get really aggravated when I send somebody a text message and have to wait for their reply. My ego gets bruised when you don’t respond immediately. I don’t care if you’re at school. I dont care if you’re in a business meeting. I don’t care if you’re in the middle of a threesome with King Tut and Janet Jackson. King Tut ain’t disappearing. He’s dead, he stays where you put him. And the only thing disappearing about Janet Jackson is her nose and her career. So, stop what you’re doing and fucking answer me. Thank you.

Annoying parents
I’m sitting in the waiting room of a doctors office. In walks a lady and her son who is about 4 years old. He is pushing a stroller with her 8 month old daughter in it. She sits down and the boy begins to play race car track with the stroller, circling our chairs like he is Dale fucking Earnhardt. He’s bumping into all kinds of shit, including people. His mother is playing on her iphone. Me and the other patients exchange glances of “WTF? Is this bitch for real?” I’m just waiting for the baby to go flying out of the stroller and becoming one with the cement wall. FINALLY, she calls him over and tells him to sit down. Then she proceeds to play some childish game on her iPhone with the volume on full blast. You have got to be fucking kidding me. Lady, you are an imbecile and I am not above disciplining you and your unruly child. I do not want to sit here and listen to your ducks and cows and bouncing balls background music while you ignore your kids. How old are you, anyway? What the fuck are you playing? Read a fucking magazine like a normal person. And for Gods sake, control that fucking animal you birthed.

 

I could go on, but I have a job and a life.

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2 Responses to “It’s the little things”

  1. Melissa Pace May 4, 2012 at 8:59 am #

    Sometimes I think I hate children, but then I realize it’s the parents I hate. You created this spawn, deal with it appropriately.

    • TBT May 4, 2012 at 12:37 pm #

      It really is the parents responsibility. But some seem to have mastered tuning their kids out.

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