So, that’s why they call it work…

5 Aug

Is he shoveling shit? Or is he digging his own grave?

I’ve been battling allergies lately.  Unfortunately, I didn’t have any Kleenex at work so being the classy and resourceful bitch that I am I stooped as low as keeping a roll of angel soft toilet paper nearby.  I was sick. I was tired. I was pissed I still had 6 hours left at work.  Therefore, I did not give a fuck.

One of my jobs is a receptionist at a Marina.  My office is connected to the Ship’s store where we sell boat parts as well as a few drinks and snacks for people staying on their boats over night.  Much of the time, I am left alone to run the office as well as the store.  A guy comes in and gets an ice cream sandwich.  He asks for a spoon. Bitch, we are not a fucking Ice Cream Parlor and we’re not spoon suppliers.  I tell him I think Ice Cream sandwiches are meant to be eaten with his hands.  He says “I ain’t got no teeth.”  Ugh. Gag me with a spoon.

If I’m alone in the office and have to relieve myself, I have to lock the front door and walk to the rest rooms.  Usually, I try to wait for an associate to come in so I don’t have to do that.  Apparently, it’s not good for business to lock the front door during open hours.  I think it would be worse for business if I pissed my pants while talking to a tenant.  After waiting an hour, I walk out and lock the door, only to be sideswiped by the crypt keeper on a power chair.  Seriously? Just because you are old as shit doesn’t mean you can run me over like I don’t matter.   Hopefully you don’t scooter your ass right off the dock because I hear diapers are only buoyant until they eventually become waterlogged.

*Ring Ring* “Do you have shark meat there?” “Um, no.”  “Do you have alligator meat?”  WTF? You’re calling a Marina, not a fucking slaughterhouse.

My job would be great if I didn’t deal with such random weirdo’s on a daily basis. I feel like it is only work because of the exponential amount of effort I spend on resisting the urge to dick slap people.

One of my favorite regulars walks in and asks “What’s the toilet paper for?”

For all the shit I put up with, of course.

2 Responses to “So, that’s why they call it work…”

  1. thelifeofjamie August 5, 2012 at 7:57 pm #

    I guess you can look at it this way…you have a huge amount of material!

    • TBT August 6, 2012 at 7:14 am #

      ‘Tis true! lol my boss actually always does joke about me writing a book on all the crazy stuff I overhear the brokers talking about.

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