Breaking Laws and Breaking Hearts

25 May

When it comes to men, I’ve always said that I don’t have a type.  I’ve dated guys of various stature and status; From a plumber to a drummer.

Here to find out, I do have a type.  Apparently, my type is felons.

You read that right. Although, I never knew any of these sweet talkers had a rap sheet until it was too late. From thieves, to batterers, to drug dealers. I have impeccable taste.

One of my past posts I mentioned a guy named Johnny.  He’s one that called me an asshole.  Well, we had still kept in contact through drunken texts but nothing materialized.

I hadn’t heard from him in about 6 months when he decides to text me. A normal greeting might be “Hey, whats up?” or “Long time, no talk”.  But my life isn’t normal, so instead I get a text that says “I just got out of prison”.

What is the proper response to that?  A congratulations and a get out of jail free card? Here, have a freedom balloon.

My first thought was he was definitely someones bitch with those blue eyes and blonde hair and I should ask him about it.  But, society has taught me, it is rude to bring up rape too early in a conversation.  So, I just replied that I didn’t even know he was in prison.

He says he is now only under house arrest. Hmmm, I’m going to need that freedom balloon back.

Obviously, I was turned off. Less obvious, I was like WTF? How many times do I have to pick the bad boy without even knowing he was a bad boy?  I don’t have daddy issues. Why do I have such terrible taste in men? I am a magnet for trouble makers. Which is probably why I have stayed single lately.  Anyway, I still have hope I will find some one. Someone who is religious, yet still appreciates a good horror movie, a great party, and amazing sex. That kind of person totally exists. So, anyone else who is having these same problems, keep your head up, your lover is coming.

Bitch about it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: